Disappointment when expectations not met

Abstract image of thoughtful girl

Hope is great, high hopes that leave problems unanswered disappoint, expectations are not met as we expect and that sometimes leaves our relationship with God messy.

That usually comes because we have been given those high hopes by proclaiming that the gospel promises peace, joy, restored relationships, forgiveness for all our sins, emotional healing, meaning and purpose in life, and much more. On top of that we hear testimonies of other followers of Jesus about how God miraculously answers prayer. So we pray. It is not that God does not deliver, but rather that we assume the answer to come quickly, miraculously and painlessly.

Joseph reminds me a bit of how that works. I think he prayed everyday that God would get him out of prison. Since he knew he had favour with God, mainly because of his dreams, his hopes were high. They became even higher when two of  Pharaoh’s men were sent to prison, had dreams and Joseph interpreted them. This was the way he was going to get out of prison and he tells the cupbearer to remember him.

But please remember me when everything is going well for you, and please be kind enough to mention me to the king and help me get out of this prison. – Genesis 40:14 GNT

Having hopes is not wrong, we should be people of hope. It is how we deal with our disappointments when our high hopes are not met in the way we expect that needs some dealing with.

Remember Bartimaeus, the blind man that Jesus healed immediately saying that it was his faith that healed him? That is one glimpse of light into our world of hope. It was faith and not works, history of service, and definitely not how hard he tried.

How I am encouraged to come with the same boldness in my prayers each morning, believing by faith He will hear and answer my prayers.

I also have to confess that with each answered prayer, I take the next steps to follow Jesus even more obediently. I am maturing from a person who looks to Jesus to give me something to understanding that following Jesus also costs something.

It keeps coming back to me that I know too many people who do not know Jesus and is my heart burdened for them? Paul says it again for the second time.

My friends, how I wish with all my heart that my own people might be saved! How I pray to God for them! – Romans 10:1 GNT

I notice that religious people often miss salvation in spite of the prayers and deep concern of godly people, but I should pray anyway. For those who believe in the doctrine of election – be sure to note that this does not negate our need to pray for the salvation of the lost. It is clearly pointed out that my responsibility is to always pray.

“Knowing God is more than knowing about him; it is a matter of dealing with him as he opens up to you, and being dealt with by him as he takes knowledge of you … We must not lose sight of the fact that knowing God is an emotional relationship, as well as an intellectual and volitional one, and could not indeed be a deep relation between persons were it not so….Believers rejoice when their God is honored and vindicated and feel the acutest distress when they see God flouted … We do not make friends with God; God makes friends with us, bringing us to know him by making his love known to us.” – J.I. Packer

 

 

Common grace and more

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The idea of common grace would be illustrated well with Joseph and the home where he was employed.

From then on, because of Joseph the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian and everything that he had in his house and in his fields. – Genesis 39:5 GNT

What it may illustrate is that there is some measure of consequence that comes to those who do keep God’s law which has an outward appearance such as prosperity. I believe God does work this way. I believe that would be the reason Potiphar’s house was blessed because of Joseph. I believe it is also the reason I am called to pray for those in authority over me and to pray specifically that they may observe the law of God in me.

However, there is more.

When they joined the rest of the disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and some teachers of the Law arguing with them. When the people saw Jesus, they were greatly surprised, and ran to him and greeted him. Jesus asked his disciples, “What are you arguing with them about?”

A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, because he has an evil spirit in him and cannot talk. Whenever the spirit attacks him, it throws him to the ground, and he foams at the mouth, grits his teeth, and becomes stiff all over. I asked your disciples to drive the spirit out, but they could not.”

Jesus said to them, “How unbelieving you people are! How long must I stay with you? How long do I have to put up with you? Bring the boy to me!” They brought him to Jesus.

As soon as the spirit saw Jesus, it threw the boy into a fit, so that he fell on the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. “How long has he been like this?” Jesus asked the father.

“Ever since he was a child,” he replied. “Many times the evil spirit has tried to kill him by throwing him in the fire and into water. Have pity on us and help us, if you possibly can!”

“Yes,” said Jesus, “if you yourself can! Everything is possible for the person who has faith.”

The father at once cried out, “I do have faith, but not enough. Help me have more!”

Jesus noticed that the crowd was closing in on them, so he gave a command to the evil spirit. “Deaf and dumb spirit,” he said, “I order you to come out of the boy and never go into him again!”

The spirit screamed, threw the boy into a bad fit, and came out. The boy looked like a corpse, and everyone said, “He is dead!” But Jesus took the boy by the hand and helped him rise, and he stood up.

After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive the spirit out?”

“Only prayer can drive this kind out,” answered Jesus; “nothing else can.” – Mark 9:14-29 GNT

I am not too sure what the attitude of the father was when talking with Jesus. It almost seemed that he was either looking for the magic cure and was upset there wasn’t one or if he was a bit tentative exposing his request for his son to an audience and was growing weary or at least his faith was being tested. So Jesus drawing out from him the kind of attitude in prayer He was looking for, set the boy free. Jesus made sure to inform His disciples that there was no other way to come to this except by prayer.
Simone Weil, a French-born Jewish philosopher, died aged 34 in 1943. During her final illness, someone said to her, “I can only pray for you.” Simone answered, “Why do you say, ‘only’. That’s the best thing you can do for me.”
Could there be a necessity for me to have a pattern of prayer? Obviously, the disciples had not. They have concentrated more on the arguments rather than on prayer. My challenge is to understand when dealing with evil so fierce and destructive, it takes prayer – a pattern of prayer. By it’s very nature it expresses dependence on God. While I may be operating knowing that I am fulfilling a command to pray for others, it’s final accomplishment requires a constant attitude of humility and a reliance on Him.  What about Paul’s burden for lost souls? Is that not more?

I am speaking the truth; I belong to Christ and I do not lie. My conscience, ruled by the Holy Spirit, also assures me that I am not lying  when I say how great is my sorrow, how endless the pain in my heart for my people, my own flesh and blood! For their sake I could wish that I myself were under God’s curse and separated from Christ. They are God’s people; he made them his children and revealed his glory to them; he made his covenants[a] with them and gave them the Law; they have the true worship; they have received God’s promises; they are descended from the famous Hebrew ancestors; and Christ, as a human being, belongs to their race. May God, who rules over all, be praised forever![b] Amen. – Romans 9:1-5 GNT

Sound like he had a bit of what Esther had. I know God is talking to me about this. It takes more than common grace.

C. H. Spurgeon (Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit [Pilgrim Publications], 24:410-411) reported how John Bunyan said “that he often felt while preaching that he could give his own salvation for the salvation of his hearers.” Then Spurgeon stuck the knife in: “And I pity the man who has not felt the same.”

I need to pray much more, need to give my heart to the lost far more than I do now. Lot’s of room to grow past common grace.

God is pleased sometimes to answer the prayers of unbelievers. Indeed he hears not their prayers for their goodness or acceptableness, or because of any true respect to him manifested in them, for there is none. Nor has he obliged himself to answer such prayers. Yet he is pleased sometimes, of his sovereign mercy, to pity wicked men, and hear their cries. Thus he heard the cries of the Ninevites (Jonah 3) and the prayer of Ahab, 1 Kin. 21:27, 28. Though there be no regard to God in their prayers yet he, of his infinite grace, is pleased to have respect to their desires of their own happiness, and to grant their requests. He may, and sometimes does, hear the cries of wicked men, as he hears the hungry ravens when they cry, Psa. 147:9. And as he opens his bountiful hand and satisfies the desires of every living thing, Psa. 145:16. Besides the prayers of sinners, though they have no goodness in them, yet are made a means of a preparation for mercy. – Jonathan Edwards

What does the Holy Spirit pray for us?

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In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people and in accordance with his will. – Romans 8:26-27 GNT

The Spirit helps us by praying for us. What does the Spirit ask for when He intercedes for us?

  • for things that we do not know we should pray for
  • for things that we do not know we should ask for
  • for things that that are in accord with the will of God

The intent is clear – I should be encouraged especially when I am weak because the Holy Spirit prays for me So I aim to keep praying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily

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I find that when I pray everyday that my prayers get right to the point. Not dissimilar to the Gentile woman’s prayer with Jesus.

The woman was a Gentile, born in the region of Phoenicia in Syria. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. But Jesus answered, “Let us first feed the children. It isn’t right to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”

“Sir,” she answered, “even the dogs under the table eat the children’s leftovers!”

So Jesus said to her, “Because of that answer, go back home, where you will find that the demon has gone out of your daughter!”

She went home and found her child lying on the bed; the demon had indeed gone out of her. – Mark 7:26-30 GNT

I get to the point, I am humble in my approach, I am full of faith that God can do what He has promised, I am fervent, modest, and respectful. My approach is rational, totally relying on the mercy of God. I persevere until I am clear in my ask.

One of my points is confession, putting off my flesh every day.

I know that good does not live in me—that is, in my human nature. For even though the desire to do good is in me, I am not able to do it. – Romans 7:18 GNT

It is one of those things that do not get better over time. Every day I have to put myself aside and give myself to God. My prayer goes similar to George Muller’s.

“Lord, don’t let me become a wicked old man!” 

He knew that in him, in his flesh, there was nothing good. So I approach God with that in mind and my prayer reflects the same and I come to the Father every day in the name of Jesus.

Once, as I rode out into the woods for my health, in 1737, having alighted from my horse in a retired place, as my manner commonly has been, to walk for divine contemplation and prayer, I had a view that for me was extraordinary, of the glory of the Son of God, as Mediator between God and man, and his wonderful, great, full, pure and sweet grace and love, and meek and gentle condescension. This grace that appeared so calm and sweet, appeared also great above the heavens. The person of Christ appeared ineffably excellent with an excellency great enough to swallow up all thought and conception — which continued, as near as I can judge, about an hour; which kept me the greater part of the time in a flood of tears and weeping aloud. I felt an ardency of soul to be, what I know not otherwise how to express, emptied and annihilated; to lie in the dust, and to be full of Christ alone; to love Him with a holy and pure love; to trust in Him; to live upon Him; to serve and follow Him; and to be perfectly sanctified and made pure, with a divine and heavenly purity. – Jonathan Edwards

 

Need prayer

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I am reading a book titled, The Dark Side of Leadership. It’s content is somewhat familiar and I am trying to read it with a fresh look on how I can apply new thought patterns that I might have missed in my own life. As I am reading, I acknowledge how much could be avoided with prayer and the self-reflection and self-awareness that comes with spending time with the Holy Spirit.

I look at the Corinthian church and see a son sleeping with his father’s wife. Not a new thing – Reuben did it as well.

While Jacob was living in that land, Reuben had sexual intercourse with Bilhah, one of his father’s concubines; Jacob heard about it and was furious. – Genesis 35:22a GNT

If my world misses anything it is the denial that Satan prowls trying to pervert the grace of God in the lives that follow Jesus. Disgraceful people do come into the Church, but this is rather a fallen state that should humble all of us and I know it challenges me to be more attentively careful of myself. In fact, I am more earnest in making sure that I am praying and depending on God’s mercy than ever before.

There is a clear necessity for me to seek my Father for direction, strength and power. Jesus had the same need. Jesus tried to teach the disciples the importance of finding a quiet place and by that, a place to rest and pray.

There were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his disciples didn’t even have time to eat. So he said to them, “Let us go off by ourselves to some place where we will be alone and you can rest a while.” – Mark 6:31 GNT

 

Prayer is part of our theological instincts, our “incurable God sickness.” -Karl Barth