Moses’ conversation with God showed something that I find disturbing in my own walk with God. I love that God has walked with me my whole life and has never left my side. However, there is something stopping me from fully engaging with Him.

But Moses answered, “No, Lord, please send someone else.” – Exodus 4:13 GNT

Let someone else do it is a common response from me when God has asked me to do something. No excuses, simply a refusal to accept the call. Why? I know that God wants to bless me, deliver people, and reveal His power so great that absolutely no obstacle could hinder the accomplishment of what He has called me to do. The answer seems so simple right now, but devastating. Like Moses, I do not trust Him.

At this the Lord became angry with Moses and said, “What about your brother Aaron, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. In fact, he is now coming to meet you and will be glad to see you. – Exodus 4:14 GNT

I am actually telling God I cannot count on You. No wonder He became angry.

I am thankful that I communicate with God everyday and have not lost my time each morning to spend with Him. However, I know too many who have walked away and have stopped praying. What happens when I do not pray?

The wicked tell God to leave them alone;
    they don’t want to know his will for their lives.
They think there is no need to serve God
    nor any advantage in praying to him. – Job 21:14-15 GNT

I think I would lose my fear of God, severing my relationship with my Father. Dangerous territory with the possibility of disastrous results. I begin to do things as I see fit and I actually find myself weak and end up making all the wrong decisions in my life.

Was a wicked person’s light ever put out?
    Did one of them ever meet with disaster?
Did God ever punish the wicked in anger
    and blow them away like straw in the wind,
    or like dust carried away in a storm? – Job 21:17 GNT

Thankfully God stands with me. My decision to leave Him will cause me to suffer spiritually, emotionally, physically and that does not include what happens to my family, my future and my community of support. The enemy becomes stronger and I finally realize that I am back in the same prison as I was – back in bondage. Unbelief can destroy.

I remember the power of believing when I read testimonies of others who believed so much that they gave everything.

A Pharisee invited Jesus to have dinner with him, and Jesus went to his house and sat down to eat. In that town was a woman who lived a sinful life. She heard that Jesus was eating in the Pharisee’s house, so she brought an alabaster jar full of perfume and stood behind Jesus, by his feet, crying and wetting his feet with her tears. Then she dried his feet with her hair, kissed them, and poured the perfume on them. – Luke 7:36-38 GNT

 

“Her service to Jesus was personal. She did it all herself, and all to him. Do you notice how many times the pronoun occurs in our text? [she, three times and her twice in Luke 7:37-38] … She served Christ himself. It was neither service to Peter, nor James, nor John, nor yet to the poor or sick of the city, but to the Master himself; and, depend upon it, when our love is in active exercise, our piety will be immediately towards Christ — we shall sing to him, pray to him, teach for him, preach for him, live to him. O for more of this love! If I might only pray one prayer this morning, I think it should be that the flaming torch of the love of Jesus should be brought into every one of our hearts, and that all our passions should be set ablaze with love to him.” – Spurgeon

 

“Left to ourselves, we will pray to some god who speaks what we like hearing, or to the part of God we manage to understand. But what is critical is that we speak to the God who speaks to us, and to everything that he speaks to us. There is a difference between praying to an unknown God whom we hope to discover in our praying, and praying to a known God, revealed through Israel and Jesus Christ, who speaks our language. In the first, we indulge our appetite for religious fulfillment; in the second we practice obedient faith. The first is a lot more fun, the second is a lot more important. What is essential in prayer is not that we learn to express ourselves, but that we learn to answer God.” – Eugene Peterson